27 September 2024
When it feels easier to run away than it does to try again
Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.”” - Exodus 3:10 ESV
The last thing you are thinking of doing when you’ve experienced a loss or failure of any sort, is starting again. It’s a natural human instinct to, once burnt, avoid going back to the cooker.
But the methods of God can be so interesting, in that after a time of processing, He may take you back to the place of your perceived failure, and tell you to start again.
40 years after Moses killed an Egyptian to help an Israelite, God spoke to him and said He would use him to free the entire nation of Israel. Not sure about you, but if it were me, I’d ask God to get someone else to do it. Respectfully. After all, ‘I failed in the little, why would you want to use me in the big?’, right?
We don’t have to try too hard to imagine what he was thinking or feeling, because it’s laid out in the scriptures in the form of excuses - “Who am I to go to Pharaoh?” “Who am I to free the Israelites?” “My mouth is slow of speech”, “Who will I say sent me?”, “what if they don’t listen to me?” etc. Moses was unsurprisingly unwilling. Experiencing failure can do that to a person; make you second guess your worthiness, your ability, your calling.
If you’ve felt like that, I can completely relate; anxious because you have no idea what could potentially be waiting for you when you go back. Will I fail again? Will I face the same struggles? Will it be worse than when I left it?
In fact, the very existence of this newsletter is the product of obedience to the voice of God saying “Go back and start again” after experiencing failure. And I made excuses for almost 2 years before we arrived at this moment - so I relate with the example of Moses.
Sometimes it’s easier to obey the voice of God when you have no history of failing in the area God is requesting you to take action in. You may have an idea of what failure could be like, but it’s different when you’ve actually experienced it - the memory of it, the pain can tempt you to disobey The Voice.
But the beauty of God is that He meets us with faithfulness, grace, strength and encouragement in those places. And as He spoke to Moses, so He speaks to you and I “But I will be with you… it is safe for you to go back” (Exodus 3:12, 4:19).
God is the difference between success and failure; maybe last time you went in your own strength, but this time, you will go in the strength of the Lord.
This newsletter is what it looks like for me to ‘push through the fear of failing (again), and partnering with and trusting in God for better.
What would it look like for you? What would it look like for you to obey the call to “Go back and try again”? What would it look like for you to look to and partner with God for the better outcome? What would it look like for you to fix your eyes on God for the future, forsaking the failure of the past?
What would it look like?
My prayer is that we will not only hear the voice of God, but we will do what He says. If He says “go back and start again”, I pray that we will not ignore Him out of fear or brokenness, but that we will trust the leading and direction of God.
Failure is a experience, not a title. It’s a pivot point not a camping ground. When God calls you to try again, know and believe that there is a new grace bestowed upon you and the correct path carved out by God. Allow Him to guide you step by step and lean unreservedly upon Him.
After all, we are simply visible vessels of God’s invisible work.
— Ola
To Gaze Upon Christ
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